


Lift Turn

by archea2



Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Heist, Humor, Multi, Trapped In Elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28731807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archea2/pseuds/archea2
Summary: "Hon, how much did you tip that groom?""Twenty. What? You don't tip them at the start?""Itdidstrike me as a bit odd when he stepped out at Floor 3, winked, and said 'Enjoy your climb.’"
Relationships: Elizabeth Burke/Peter Burke/Neal Caffrey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Lift Turn

**7:21**

"What the -"

"Why is it -"

"This can't be Floor 18. We've only just left the ground!"

**7:28**

"Hon, try the big red one again."

"The big red one is plastered with my thumbprint, hon."

"Damn, damn, damn, no reception."

7:32

"Neal, your elbow is grounded as of _now_."

"Please. You’re the one with the alleged long arm!"

"Not helping, Neal, sweetie."

7:42

"Hey! Ho! Multimillionaire art patron here, trapped with wife and secretary! I'LL REWARD YOU PAST YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!"

"I don't think they can hear you, hon. No, nor your shoe."

"Oh, I think they can. I think, given Mr. Orlofsky's lecherous rep, they know better than to shortcut our bout of roleplay."

**7:42:03**

"What?"

"WHAT?"

“... yeaaah, I may have gone a titch overboard with the foundation work. In my defence, I didn’t expect ONTD to latch so quickly on Mr. Grey’s off-the-cuff confidences.”

7:44

"Hon, how much did you tip that groom?"

"Twenty. What? You don't tip them at the start?"

"It _did_ strike me as a bit odd when he stepped out at Floor 3, winked, and said 'Enjoy your climb.’"

7:45

"...El, you really need to stop laughing."

"C-c-can't."

"Only the happiest threesomes for Mrs. Orlofsky!"

7:45:10

“So let’s have some details.”

“El!”

“Hon, we are to make a splash. Remember? Glue all eyes to us the minute we walk into that auction rom, so Jones can nab the hammer and delay the sale. Better get in character, then.”

“They’ll never buy -”

“Well, yes, that’s the point. They must not buy the Renoir. So let's all sit down for storytime. Mr. Grey, the floor - a clean one, thankfully - is yours.”

“Ah, but a secretary is sworn to secrecy. When not on Reddit, that is.”

“At least tell me _I_ hold the cuff keys.”

“Of course. But the general consensus is that you massage Mr. Orlofsky with smetana right after, and -”

“I would _never_.”

“Lower-case s, Peter. Russian sour cream.”

“Oh.”

“But what about Mr. Grey? Do we take care of him properly?”

“...”

“Answer the question, Neal.”

"..."

"...Neal?"

“You - you do. You’re the gold lining to the cuff - both of you.”

“Neal…”

7:47

"Dear god, how long do they think my refractory period is?"

"The Story of O: still on hiatus."

"Hush, you. Hon, you'd better take off your tie. For _effet de réel_. Here, let me..."

7:54

"And if you can zip me down - yes, here, just an inch -"

"Shouldn’t we get some of that lipstick on Neal? In the, uh, spirit of Acting Method."

"I think Neal's gone to sleep on your lap."

7:54:02

"Were you... Peter, were you stroking my hair?"

"..."

"That was both of us, sweetheart."

7: 54:05

"Don't stop, then."

7:55

"Neal, dear Neal, I'm going to put lipstick on all of you."

"... Peter?"

"What happens in the elevator shaft stays in the elevator shaft."

8:12

"Mrs. Orlofsky, Mr. Orlofsky, congratulations. You are now both members of the highly exclusive Twenty-Meter High Club."

"Oh, Neal. You've really got the warmest smile."

"Guys... is it us, or is that thing moving again?"

8:13

" _Floor Eighteen. Annual Fin-de-Siècle Art Auction_."

"Aaaah, here we go. After you, Madam. Sir."

"Pssst, El."

"Hmmm?"

"Find me another twenty, will you?"


End file.
